Fountain Hills Mentor Program

 

Resource Guide

 

 

1

Welcome

 

The Fountain Hills Mentor Program is a Public/Private Partnership between Fountain Hills Unified School District and members of the community.  Congratulations on signing up to become a mentor and your interest in making a difference in the life of a young person.  Often people start off mentoring thinking that it will be “work” for the grownup and “fun” for the child.  Pretty soon, mentors find out that it’s just as much fun for them.  The pages which follow include many of the suggested procedures, tips and strategies about the Program and about mentoring. 

 

Thank you for your time, your commitment and your caring.  You will make a difference! 

Mission Statement

To be a catalyst to encourage and assist the Fountain Hills educational system in offering our children the opportunity to reach their maximum potential through mentoring.

Volunteer Code of Ethics

 

In order to promote volunteerism in our schools it is essential for all school/adult community volunteers to adhere to a professional code of ethics.  We ask that volunteers pay special attention to the following:

 

1.   ATTITUDE:  Please come to school with a good attitude, one that will say to  the principal and teachers, “I’m glad you asked me to help you” and one that will say to the individual you are working with, “You are so special I’m glad that I have an opportunity to work with you.”

2.   DEPENDABILITY: Make the professional commitment -- being counted on.  Teachers and students are planning activities around your skills.  Keeping your commitment -- part of the bargain -- is very important for you and for others.  Please notify the appropriate person if you are unable to come at your committed time.  Don’t be a “no show” mentor.

3.   COMMUNICATION: We want your volunteer work to be a learning activity for you so if you have questions as to policy and procedures, please ask the appropriate person (Jeannine Ryan at (480) 664-5262 or Sandy Davis (480) 837-5366).

4.   CONFIDENTIALITY: You will have access to student, teacher and adult confidences, abilities, successes, struggles and other personal information.  Please remember that such information must be left in the classroom and with the people responsible for conducting classes or for supervising the activities you are involved in.  As volunteers, our responsibilities are to maintain the confidentiality of learning centers, and we do not want to share information which can be detrimental to any individual or group. 

 5.   SUPPORT: As volunteers, we have placed ourselves in the role of support  --  support for the teachers, principal, or for the community responsible for running and maintaining the programs we serve.  We will demonstrate the appropriate behavior and courtesy for the principal of the building and the professional staff who are ultimately responsible for the education of all individuals that attend classes in the school.

 As a school/adult community volunteer adhering to a professional code of ethics, you are part of the school team whose goal is to provide opportunities for all individuals to learn!  You are a Professional school/adult community volunteer. 

(Source:  Volunteers in Public Service: A Handbook for School/Adult Community Volunteers)

 "Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them." Lady Byrd Johnson

2

About Mentoring

What is a Mentor?

A mentor is an adult who provides young people with support, counsel, friendship, reinforcement and constructive example.  The most critical role for a mentor is to be an adult who has time for the youth, who cares about that child, who believes in that child.  This relationship may provide the ONLY stability a young person knows, and the only time anyone spends quality time with the mentee.

 

Characteristics of Mentors

·                    Commitment to be involved for an extended time period – six months to one year at a minimum

·                    Persistence and willingness to “hang in there” through the ups and downs of a relationship

·                    Respect for individuals

·                    Appreciation of individual ability and skill levels

·                    Ability to empathize and understand another person’s struggles in a non-judgmental manner

·                    Flexibility and openness

·                    Desire to learn from others’ experiences and willingness to share one’s own personal experiences

·                    Sensitivity to differences and a respect for individual perspectives

·                    Interest in helping to identify and develop strengths in young people

·                    Understanding that communication is a two-way street

·                    Using life experiences in a variety of ways to enhance the lives of others

·                    Recognizing that relationships take time to develop and that both mentors and young people can learn from each other

What a Mentor Is:

 

!  A trusted friend

!  A responsible and reliable adult

!  A link to other cultures, attitudes and behaviors

!  A guide

!  A good listener

 

What a Mentor Isn’t:

 

!  A savior

!  A substitute parent

!  A cool peer

!  A parole officer

!  A therapist

!  A source of funds

Benefits of a Mentoring Program

 

!  Helps children in our community start school with the necessary skills for success

!  Supports teachers and administrators and their educational efforts to develop responsible and successful future leaders

!  Reduces the number of students at-risk for dropping out of school

!  Vastly improves the student’s relationships with parents, guardians and adults

!  Helps prevent substance abuse in children

!  Improves a child’s self esteem

!  Offers volunteers a sense of personal gratification and enjoyment

!  Provides volunteers with a deeper understanding of the demands young people face.

!  Fulfills responsibility to the community

 

Stages of Mentoring

Stage 1 - Developing Rapport and Building Trust

 

‚  BUILDING TRUST TAKES WEEKS, SOMETIMES MONTHS.

One of the best ways to build trust is to help your mentee accomplish something tangible that is important to him/her.  For example, assist in following up on an interest, getting involved in a club, or meeting someone important in a career field of interest.

 ‚  TESTING MAY OCCUR.

Testing may occur particularly when mentees are from unstable backgrounds where they have been repeatedly disappointed by adults.  Testing is a form of protection from further disappointment.

Your mentee may come from a family where nothing can be taken for granted:

-    People living in the household come and go.

-    Frequent moves occur during the course of a year.

-    The phone and/or other utilities may be turned on and off.

-    Food may be unavailable at times.

Mentees may be slow to give their trust because, perhaps based on past experience with other adults, they expect inconsistency and lack of commitment.  During the testing period, mentors can expect:

-    Missed appointments.

-    Phone calls not returned.

-    Unreasonable requests.

-    Angry or sullen behavior.

 

‚  PREDICTABILITY BUILDS TRUST, SO BE CONSISTENT:

-    Be on time for arranged meetings.

-    Bring promised information and materials.

-    Follow through on agreements and arrangements with your
     mentee.

‚  PROVIDE REASSURANCE THAT WHAT YOU DISCUSS TOGETHER IS CONFIDENTIAL:

 

Early in the mentoring relationship, you should explain that:

 -  Nothing your mentee tells you will be discussed with anyone else.

- If you feel that it is important to involve another adult, it will be discussed first with your mentee.

- If there is a threat of physical harm to your mentee or others, you
 must break confidentiality to seek protection for the endangered
 person(s).

Though Stage 1 may not be difficult in all relationships, it may be in some.  It is important for you to be prepared for initial disappointments and frustration and to refrain from blaming yourself.

 Stage 2 - Reaching Goals

‚  THIS CAN BE A TIME OF CLOSENESS IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

Once the testing is over, the rocky part of the relationship usually ends and exciting progress may begin to take place.

‚  A MENTORING RELATIONSHIP CAN TAKE MANY FORMS.

  -   The family-like relationship where you are felt to be part of the
      family and contacts are frequent and intense.

 -   The important, less intense relationship where the focus is on
 accomplishing tasks.  Time together is limited to weekly contact
 required by the mentoring program.

Any variety of these forms has its value and you may find your relationship fluctuating between them over time.

 ‚  NOT ALL MENTORING RELATIONSHIPS PROCEED
     SMOOTHLY.

 When things are not working, you must explore these issues:

 -    The fit or match may not be right.

-    Your mentee may have been so disappointed and damaged by earlier experiences that he/she is unable to risk taking advantage of a helping relationship.

-    Some mentor pairs will get stuck in the testing stage.

-    You may feel burdened by the relationship and feel angry or    annoyed by the mentee’s behaviors.

‚  AS A MENTOR, IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES WITH AND RECEIVE SUPPORT FROM:

-    Mentor Program Administrator

-    Other mentors

-    Resource persons, training and reference materials.

Stage 3 - Terminating the Relationship

If the mentor must leave the program:

‚  TERMINATING THE RELATIONSHIP IS A CRUCIAL PART OF THE RELATIONSHIP.

 -    The way the relationship ends can shape how your mentee thinks
      about and learns from the experience.

-    Mentors should discuss strategies and guidelines for ending the
     relationship with their mentor program administrator.

-    No matter what the strategy, if at all possible, plan ahead for the    end of the relationship with your mentee.  Encourage your      mentee to verbalize feelings about the termination and help him/her to feel supported and in control by planning   future coping strategies together.     Whatever you do, do not just drop out of sight.
(Source: Each One-Reach One Mentoring Project)

  "To look up and not down,
to look forward and not back,
to look out and not in,
and to lend a hand." 
Edward Everett Hale

 

3

Mentoring Policies & Guidelines 

Mentoring provides the perfect opportunity for each member of the community to become directly involved in the future of our children.  The following policies, procedures and guidelines were designed to ensure that the Fountain Hills Mentoring Program is a quality program adhering to “best practices”.

 Policies & Procedures

 1.  Commit to a minimum of at least one hour per week throughout      the school year (from September through May).

 2.   Fill out the Mentor Profile and submit it to the Mentor Coordinator.

 3.   Mentors must attend the initial orientation training offered by the
 Fountain Hills Mentor Council.  The session will be about two hours
 long.

 4.   Track the amount of volunteer time on the School Mentor Volunteer
        Form (see chapter 9).  At the end of the school year submit your
        completed form to the Mentor Coordinator.

 5.   Submit necessary information for a background check.

 6.   Remember that we are guests at the school, and although we are
       certainly welcome and appreciated, we operate under their school
       rules.

 7.   Never engage in criticism of the teacher or principal.

School Guidelines

1.   If you miss a mentoring session, please call the school and leave a      message with your student’s teacher.  It is important to let your    teacher and student know that you did not forget about your session, but something unexpected came up.  Research has shown higher attendance on days when youth are being mentored.  Your student is counting on you!  Model being a person of your word to your student.

 2.  For each of your mentoring sessions, follow the suggestions and
      direction given to you by your student’s teacher. 

3.   Sign-in at the front desk every time you arrive on the school campus and wear a name tag at all times while on school grounds.

4.   Arrive on time, and end your session on time. 

5.   Confidentiality is mandatory.  There may be opportunities when
 confidential issues are shared with you, please do not discuss these
 issues outside the school.

 6.  If your student reaches out to you with problems which require specific
      kinds of expertise, please contact your student’s teacher.

7.   If your student match is not working out, BEFORE quitting, contact your teacher or the Mentor Coordinator so that an appropriate plan of action may be followed.  Remember, mentoring is about relationship building.  It takes time to establish trusting relationships and often children who most need mentoring put up the biggest barriers. 

 8.  All mentor sessions are to occur on the school campus, during school
      hours, with school personnel present.

Physical Contact

            Many of the youth whom we work with have a strong need and desire for positive physical contact with caring adults.  You are encourages to be a positive role model; however, you physical contact should be limited to giving a soft pat on the back or the sharing of a hug in full view of the staff.  Remember that what you see as simple, friendly affection between the mentee and yourself may be viewed as something entirely different by someone else.

 Confidentiality

            All information you are told about your mentee is confidential and sharing that information with others may be a violation of the law.  Do not allow yourself to make a promise to a youth that you will keep confidential information secret.  Tell the student that they are free to share confidential information with you; however, there are certain things that you are required by law to tell your program contact.  There are expectations to this requirement of confidentiality, and it is critical, not only for the welfare of the youth, but also to protect yourself from violating the law, that you adhere to these expectations:

            If a mentee confides that he or she is the victim of sexual, emotional or physical abuse you MUST notify the student’s teacher immediately.

            Make a note on your calendar of when this information as reported and to whom it was given.  Remember, this information is extremely personal and capable of damaging lives.  So DO NOT share it with anyone except the appropriate authorities.  This includes your best friend!

            If a student tells you of their involvement in any illegal activity you must tell the student’s teacher immediately.  Again, make a note on your calendar of when this information was reported and to whom it was given.

"The number one indicator of success for a child is a good relationship with a caring adult."  Fortune Magazine

4

Program Logistics

How the Program Works

Mentors need to sign-up with the Mentor Coordinator.  Each mentor will receive the mentor resource guide filled with helpful hints and guidance.  All mentors will need to attend an initial orientation training at the school, as well as a follow-up training session later in the school year.  Each training session will last about two hours in length.  Along with the required training, there will also be optional meetings/focus groups with other mentors to share your mentoring experiences and exchange ideas.

There are two styles of mentoring: One-on-One mentoring where one adult works with one student; and Team Mentoring where two adults work with one or two students and back each other up when they can not attend a session. 

Mentors will go to the school and meet with their student at the appropriate mentoring location (determined by the teacher - classroom, hallway or library) and on the agreed upon day(s) and time.  Teachers will provide mentors with general information on what subject area the student needs to develop and work on with their mentor.

All mentors need to fill out the School Mentor Volunteer form. The form tracks the number of volunteer hours donated in the mentor program.  The form is necessary for tracking the number of volunteers participating in the program and the total number of volunteer hours donated. 

If for some reason a match between you and your student does not work well for either or both of you, please contact the Mentor Coordinator prior to ending your mentoring commitment.  The Mentor Coordinator and School Administrators will work out a smooth transition for both you and the student, and will work to get the student a new mentor as well as the mentor a new student.  From time to time, a mismatch will occur, and notifying the Mentor Coordinator can help to make the transition easy for all involved.

 

What Mentors Do...

In this program, as a mentor, you will be matched up with a student, using the mentor and student profiles.  Mentors will commit to a weekly amount of time (usually one hour) to spend with their student, on the school campus.

Mentors need to respect the student, and become the student’s confidant and role model, helping to boost the student’s self-esteem.  With guidance from teachers, mentors will help young children gain skills and confidence to be responsible future leaders.  As a mentor, you will assist your student in obtaining improved academic and life skills while establishing a positive relationship.

What to do with your time

Each mentor will receive basic guidance from their student’s teacher on how to assist their student.  There will, however, be time when you and the student decide what to do with your time.  Mentors should mix academic work with other activities to strengthen their relationship.  During each mentoring session, spend time talking and listening to your student, doing academic work, and playing.  Listed below are some ideas and suggestions for activities that you may find useful while mentoring.

Getting Acquainted with your Student

‚   A student’s name is very important.  Make sure you say the student’s name the way the student wants it said.  Learn to spell their name correctly.

 ‚   Make sure the student knows and can pronounce your name.
       Wearing a nametag will help the student remember.

 ‚   Be a careful listener.  Show that you are interested in the student as a
       person.  Listen carefully to what the student has to say.  Ask questions
       about favorite activities, family members, good friends, and personal
       hopes and dreams.  By your words and actions, let the student know
       that you care.  Don’t talk about his or her home life, unless your
       student brings it up.  It may be embarrassing to him or her.

 ‚   Make it your first aim to become friends with your student.  If nothing
       else is gained in the mentoring sessions, the student will benefit from
       this personal relationship.  The student will be more willing to learn
       from someone he/she likes.

 ‚   Relax and be yourself, keep a sense of humor.

 ‚   Build your relationship slowly and keep it growing by your acceptance
       of the student, your faith in his/her ability, your honesty, your sensitivity,
       and your trustworthiness.  Never promise something that you cannot
       follow through or produce.

 ‚   Students make mistakes.  Let them know that making mistakes is
       part of learning.  Do not be afraid of making mistakes yourself.

 ‚   Build the student’s self-confidence.  Praise your student honestly and
       frequently.  Remember attentiveness and effort can be as important
       as performance.  Accentuate the positive; minimize the negative.

 ‚   Be patient.  Students learn at different rates and in different ways.
       Any sign of progress, as little as it might be, will be your greatest
       reward.  Most underachievers work more slowly on academic
       problems, often because they are less secure.

 ‚   Repetition is important.  As many different ways as you can devise to
       get the student to repeat what is being learned, the better it will be.

 ‚   Be sincere but praise any honest effort on his/her part.  Look at
       failures as another opportunity for another try at the same task.
       He/She should never see failures as negative, but remember, a
       student quickly loses respect for the giver of undeserved praise.

‚   If the student starts to digress from the work assigned, focus him/her back on the subject by saying, “How does this apply to what we started talking about?”

‚   You might find out from the teacher that a future assignment will require a lot of reading.  By reading the assignment with your student and seeing that he/she understands it well, you could give him/her some help with personal self-concept which is one of your major goals.

 ‚   End on a positive note.

(Source: Dividends, Seminole County School Volunteer Program)

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own." Benjamin Disraeli

 

5

Your Mentoring Toolkit

Suggested Mentoring Activities

!    Share life experiences

!    Share a silly joke

!    Listen to your student

!    Discuss school events

!    Put a puzzle together

!    Create a holiday, get well or greeting card for a special occasion

!    Relax and be yourself

!    Read the local paper together

!    Create a scrapbook of memories that last the entire year

!    Discuss current events

!    Color

!    Share information about your job

!    Play hangman

!    Play a simple card game

!    Teach how to give a good handshake

!    Swap photos of each other

!    Take turns reading aloud to each other

!    Discuss safety precautions such as wearing helmets when riding bikes or skateboards

!    Write a short story and include pictures

!    Ask your Mentor Coordinator to see the Resources, My Mentor & Me (The Elementary School Years) and (The Middle School Years) for weekly activities for mentors and mentees to do together

 

let’s get to know each other

first day interview

my mentee

My mentee’s name is __________________.

My mentee has _____ brothers.

My mentee has ______ sisters.

What things does my mentee like/dislike?

 

 My mentee’s favorite food is __________________.

 My mentee’s favorite color is ____________________.

 My mentee’s favorite TV show is __________________.

 My mentee has a pet.  ______ Yes  ______ No.

 Pet’s name:  ______________________________

 My mentee is sad when __________________.

 My mentee is happy when __________________.

 My mentee’s favorite sport is __________________.

 My mentee’s birthday is __________________.

Now reverse the questioning and answer the same as above for you, the mentor.

(Source:  Nu:Kud N-Nawoj Taking Care of My Friend Mentor Manual, Dr. Susan G. Weinberger)

TIPS for effective mentor-mentee relationships

Put your mentee first:  During the session, concentrate on his/her needs and problems.  Leave yours at the door.  Be flexible in your planning.  If your mentee has something on his/her mind, drop your plans for the session and focus on the immediate need.

Be your mentee’s friend, but not a buddy:  A “friend” is a person who looks out for your best interest.  Therefore, a friend never allows you to do less than your best; a friend does not allow you to shirk responsibilities; a friend does not allow you to do things that will be harmful to you.

Approach your mentee on a basis of mutual respect:  Your mentee has experienced many things you have not and has knowledge you do not have.  Show respect for these things and do not belittle them for things not known or skills not yet required.

Take time to get to know your mentee:  Some mentees will be very open; others will not.  In order to be of the most help, you must gain an insight into behavior.  Some questioning techniques that may help and will elicit more than the variations of “yes” or “no” include:  descriptive:  What is it like?  What kind of a situation is it?  Comparative:  How are two or more things different or alike?

Try to have a positive influence on your mentee:  The way you feel about life and yourself influences the way you treat other people, and the way you treat other people influences the way they feel about themselves. 

Drop the authoritative role:  Be an interested human being.

Communicate by transmitting attitudes and feelings:  Do this by being yourself; it is more effective than simply to use words.

Arrange the physical setting to be close to the mentee:  Do not sit behind a desk or across a table.  Rather, share a table by having the mentee sit beside you.

Talk ideally about one-third of the time when the mentee discusses a problem:  This gives the opportunity for the mentee to do most of the talking and shows that you are interested. 

Ask questions that cannot be answered with yes or no:  Instead of saying, “Do you like the class?” say “What do you like or dislike about the class?”

Ask questions which show a personal interest in the mentee:  Do not sound like an interrogator.

Do not interrupt the mentee when he/she is talking:  This communicates that what is said is important.  However, if the mentee digresses from the subject, say “How does this apply to the subject we started talking about?” or “What does this mean to you?”

Give the mentee silence in which to think:  Realize that there will be periods of silence while thinking occurs.  This takes practice, for in normal conversation, silence produces a feeling of awkwardness.  Realize there are different kinds of silence.  Pause before talking.  The mentee may wish to make additional remarks.  A pause of a few seconds may enable conversation to continue.

Move the focus from intellectual thought to emotional responses when feelings are being discussed:  Ask questions such as, “What does this mean to you?” and “How did you feel about that?”

Observe and interpret nonverbal clues: Notice body movement, finger tapping and other obvious clues.

Be alert to notice the change in the rate of speech, a change in the volume of speech, or a change in the pitch or tone of voice:  Such changes may indicate that there are emotional feelings connected with the subject being discussed and that the subject needs further exploration.

Use brief remarks.  Do not confuse the student with long complicated questions or comments.

Don’t give lectures on ways to behave:  Ask the mentee to suggest alternatives.  But allow the mentee to make the decision.  Together look at the consequences of the alternatives.

Share common experiences with your mentee, focusing more on the mentee and the mentee’s problem. 

Clarify and interpret what the mentee is saying:  Use remarks such as “What you are say to me is …” at other times, make a summarizing remark.  But be sure to make these brief interpretations only after the mentee has presented the idea.

Do not be alarmed at remarks made by the mentee:  Instead communicate a feeling for the mentee and a desire to see and understand the problem; do not appear to be overly concerned or to assume the mentee’s problem.

Do not make moralistic judgments:  Instead focus on what is behind the mentee’s behavior.  Ask yourself:  “What is there about this person that causes the behavior to occur?”  As a mentor do not blame the mentee for failures; try to understand why there has been a failure, accept the failures and go on from there.

Be sincere in your praise of the mentee:  Always praise the attempt as much or more than the right answer.  Give positive reinforcement whenever possible. 

Do not reject the mentee through your remarks or nonverbal clues, but instead attempt to be accepting:  Try not to show impatience!  Do not threaten or argue; guard against any act that might appear to belittle.

Do not ignore a problem:  Seek immediate help from your student’s teacher or the Mentor Coordinator.  You do not need to handle areas which require expert assistance from staff.  Leave tough areas to them.  When in doubt, ask!

Do not become quickly discouraged:  Some of the mentee’s behavior patterns have taken a long time to develop.  Although some improvements may appear, permanent changes in behavior come closely.  Mentors become impatient wand want change overnight.  You must be patient.  It may take ten years before a mentee says:  “Do you know who make a difference in my life?  My mentor when I was in second grade.”

(Source:  Nu:Kud N-Nawoj Taking Care of My Friend Mentor Manual, Dr. Susan G. Weinberger)

Facilitating Problem-Solving

For conflict in which the student has little-to-no influence* in the outcome of the problem, you can assist the student in two ways: be an empathetic listener and help the student plan for future problems.

To be an empathetic listener, try using the following statements to reinforce what your student is telling you:

‚   What I hear you saying is...

‚   It seems to me that you are feeling...

‚   So what you are saying is...

‚   Let me see if I understand what you are saying...

To help your student be better prepared to deal with future problems that may arise, ask the following questions:

‚   How can you prevent this from happening again?

‚   What will you do if this occurs in the future?

‚   What have you learned from this incident?

‚   What are some benefits/drawbacks from this experience?

For conflict in which the student has influence** in the outcome of the problem, you will want to do five things: be an empathetic listener, examine other perspectives, generate solutions, evaluate solutions, and develop a plan for carrying out the solution.  Below are some questions to help you.

1)   To be an empathetic listener, try using the following    statements to reinforce what your student is telling you:

‚   What I hear you saying is...

‚   It seems to me that you are feeling...

‚   So what you are saying is...

‚   Let me see if I understand what you are saying...

* The student is not in a position to influence the outcome.  This is especially true when the student is dealing with authority figures (teachers, principals, etc.) who are charged with enforcing rules that cannot be bent or broken.

** The student is able to influence the outcome by his/her actions.  This is especially true when dealing with peers.  The student has the power to change his/her behavior and/or develop solutions to the problem.

2)   Examine Other Perspectives

‚   Tell me what you think the other person is thinking/saying about this incident.

‚   How do you think the other person is feeling?

‚   What do you think has caused this person to act this way?

‚   How is this affecting the other person?

3)   Generate Solutions

‚   How do you see this situation being resolved?

‚   What are you willing to give to resolve the problem?

‚   What are you wanting from the other person?

‚   What are you willing to give up if the other person gives you what you want?

4)   Evaluate Solutions

‚   Which of your ideas for a solution do you think the other person will accept?

‚   Of the solutions you’ve come up with, which do you think is most fair?

5)   Develop a Plan

‚   When, where, and how will you talk with this person?

‚   If talking with this person does not work, what will you do?

 (Adapted from a hand-out by Martha L. Trevino, San Antonio, Texas, 1993.)

Motivational Strategies

1.   Be willing to share something you value with your student - your time, humor, your feelings and values, even an occasional M&M.

2.   Make the first experience with the mentee - the first day, the first week - as positive as possible.  First impressions last and bad ones are difficult to overcome.

3.   Guarantee successful learning by breaking instruction into small enough units so that something is learned every session.

 4.   Encourage the student by giving recognition for effort, by minimizing
       initial mistakes, by dividing difficult tasks into several shorter
       segments.  Show faith in the student as a learner. Encourage
       participation, rather than reserving praise until the task is completed.

5.   Allow the student to make as many choices as possible about how, what, and when something is to be learned.

6.   Be alert to restlessness in students and work to relieve the causes producing it.

 7.   Keep a 5 x 7 card on your student noting interests, goals and
       accomplishments, and acknowledge your student’s birthday. (a small
       journal kept in the car is great)

 8.   Encourage divergent thinking and creativity in the learning process.
       Make “work playful, learning artistic, and thinking emotional.”  Allow
       intuition, guessing, and estimation in problem solving.

 9.   Assign some projects in which there are choices of topics and/or
       modes of expression (skits, newspapers, interviews, displays,
       reports, diaries, models, etc.).

10.  Encourage active participation in the learning process through
       games, group projects, manipulations of materials, and student
       self-evaluations.

  11. Maintain a positive sense of unpredictability.  Stay aware of the      
 moment, trust your feelings, and be spontaneous.  Stay in touch with
 the student subculture.  Don’t be afraid to take a few risks.

12. When a student seems unmotivated, objectively describe her/his
 behavior, and ask an open-ended question to facilitate understanding
 and resolution of the issue.  Avoid sounding judgmental.

13. Create a positive climate by avoiding unannounced strategies,
 speech that is used to control students, non-caring behavior,
 dogmatism and certainty, and communication that implies superiority.
 Be exploratory and investigative of issues and problems.

 14. For problems with students:

       1) define the problem,

       2) generate alternative solutions,

       3) evaluate the alternatives with the student, and

       4) decide on a mutually acceptable solution.

 15. Following a successful learning experience, ask your student for
 opinions as to how and what the critical processes were that helped
 her/him to achieve the learning.

 (Source: USAA Mentors-Bag of Tricks Kit, p. 64-65.)

 

6

Communication

What is Listening?

All oral communication requires a sender and a receiver, a speaker and a listener.  Without listening, communication cannot take place.  Most people spend about 40 percent of their typical day listening, and they are more influenced by what they hear than by what they read.  In spite of the fact that listening is half of the oral communication process, listening is sorely neglected as a communication skill.  Everyone craves a good listener, but few people train themselves to listen effectively.  For communication to be successful, listening must be done consciously and actively.

Listening is more than just hearing what a speaker says.  Hearing is simply the receiving of sounds by your ears.  Listening, however, is interpreting -- or making sense of -- the sounds your hear.  Hearing is a physical perception; listening is a mental activity.  It requires concentration, cooperation, and an open mind.

Many situations at work demand listening skills.  Conferences, interviews, receiving instruction, handling complaints -- all call for alert, sensitive listening.  You may be listening in order to learn how to do a task, in order to make a decision, or in order to achieve friendly relations with your co-workers.  But in every case, it’s important to get beneath the surface of what the speaker is saying.  To do that you must listen with more than just your ears.  You need to be alert to tone of voice, facial expression, gestures, and posture.  These vocal and nonverbal messages supply added information that will help you to grasp the speaker’s meaning.

Good listening habits can be an important ingredient in your success.  If you practice careful listening, you’ll become more efficient in your job and more knowledgeable, and you’ll get along with people better.  You’ll understand clearly and remember the information and points of view that you hear.  Responsible, patient listening is a rare thing, but it is a skill that can be developed with practice.

 (Source: Partners for Success, Volunteer Mentor Orientation and Training Manual, The Enterprise Foundation.)

Active Listening Skills

       1.         Maintain good eye contact.

2.         Face your mentee head on.

3.         Keep an open posture - don’t cross your arms and legs.

4.         Lean toward mentee - show involvement in what he/she is saying.

5.         Stay relaxed in your overall manner - show you are comfortable with the situation.

6.         Be aware of the mentees and your own body language.

7.         Listen for feelings as well as content - read “between the lines.”

8.         Don’t confuse content and delivery - assume the mentee has something to say, even if  he/she is having trouble saying it.

9.         Cultivate empathy with the mentee - try to put yourself in his/her place.

10.       Avoid distractions - choose a comfortable and quiet place for your meeting.

11.       Avoid time pressure for your meeting - whenever possible.

12.       Don’t jump into the conversation too soon - let the mentee finish what he/she is saying.

13.       Pause a few seconds before giving feedback - you both need time to think.

14.       Give the mentee time to correct a mistake - this shows respect.

15.       Use simple gestures or phrases - to show  you are listening.

16.       Ask questions beginning with “What” or “How” - avoid questions with Yes or No Answers.

17.       Playback specific things a mentee says - that you’d like to discuss  further.

 (Source: The Mentoring Guide, New York State Mentoring Program.)

  

Discussion Starters

Use the following sets of open ended sentences to generate discussion.  If your mentee is comfortable answering, these types of personal questions can be used to develop your relationship and will build trust when you share answers with each other.

 Student Interest Survey

 1.   The thing I like most about school is...

 2.   The thing I don’t like about school is...

3.   The subject that is hardest for me is...

4.   My favorite subject is...

5.   The thing I like most about myself is...

6.   If I could change something about myself, I would...

7.   If I could have anything I wanted, it would be...

8.   When I don’t do as well in school as I can, it is because...

9.   When I have play time, I like to...

10.The career I would like is...

 (Source: Los Angeles Unified School District Volunteer Office)

 Age Appropriate Questions

 ‚   What is your favorite song?

‚   What is your favorite outdoor game?

‚   What is your favorite indoor game?

‚   What is your favorite color?

‚   What is your favorite book?

‚   What is your favorite TV show?

‚   What is your favorite movie?

‚   What kind of animals do you like?

‚   Do you have any pets?  If yes, what are their names?

‚   What makes you sad?

‚   What makes you happy?

‚   What is your favorite sport?

‚   What subject do you like most in school?

‚   What is your favorite food?

‚   Who do you most admire?

‚   What do you want to do when you grow up?

7

READING

 Why Reading Helps

READING A BOOK ALOUD TO YOUR STUDENT

 ‚   Be a ham!  The more enthusiasm you display, the more students will
       enjoy the book.

 ‚   Run your finger underneath the words as you read to signal that the
       print carries the story.  (Grades 1 and 2)

 ‚   Leave time for examining the illustrations more closely; encourage the
       students to find things in the pictures.

 ‚   Invite the students to join in whenever there is a repeated phrase in
       the text.

 ‚   Link up events in the book with similar events in the student’s life.

 ‚   If your student asks a question, stop and answer it.  The book can be
       a means of learning more about your student’s thoughts.

LISTENING TO YOUR STUDENT READ ALOUD

Based on the way most of us were taught to read, we have told the students to “sound it out” when they come to an unknown word.  While phonics is an important part of reading, reading for meaning is the primary goal.  To produce independent readers who monitor and correct themselves as they read, the following prompts are recommended BEFORE saying “sound it out”.

Give your student wait time of 5 to 10 seconds.  See what attempts are made to help him/herself, then ask the following:

      “What would make sense there?”

      “What do you think that word could be?”

      “Go back to the beginning and try that again.”

“Skip over it and read to the end of the sentence (or paragraph).    

 "Now what do you think it is?”

      “Put in a word that would make sense there.”

“You read that word before on another page.  See if you can find it.”

“Look at how that word begins.  Sound it out and keep reading.”

Most important, focus on what the student is doing well and attempting to do.  Remain loving and supportive.  When the student is having difficulty and trying to work out the trouble spots, comments such as the following are suggested:

      “Good for you.  I like the way you tried to work that out.”

“That was a good try.  Yes, that word could make sense there.”

“I like the way you looked at the picture to help yourself.”

“I like the way you went back to the beginning of the sentence and tried
 that again.  That’s what good readers do.”

      “You are becoming a good reader.  I’m proud of you.”

  (Source: McDermott Elementary School)

8

School & Other Information

Mentor Administrator

Jeannie Ryan
The Fountain Hills Mentor Program
C/O McDowell Mountain Elementary
14825 N Fayette Street
Fountain Hills, Arizona  85268
480-664-5262
Email Support:  mentorsupport@thefhmp.org

Name and Location of Schools

McDowell Mountain Elementary School
14825 N. Fayette Drive
Fountain Hills, AZ 85268
(480) 664 - 5200
Principal:    Joanne Meehan

Four Peaks Elementary School
17300 E. Calaveras Avenue
Fountain Hills, AZ 85268
(480) 664-5100
Principal:  Becky Romans

Fountain Hills Middle School
15414 North McDowell Mountain Road
Fountain Hills, AZ   85268
(480)  664-5400
Principal:  Tom Brennan

 

"50 years from now it will not matter
what kind of car you drove
what kind of house you lived in
how much you had in your bank account
nor what your clothes looked like
but the world may be a little better
because you were important
in the life of a child."

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